♥Thursday, June 19, 2008,
Refresh-d.
Hmm I created this new blog for my convenience … cos in my existing blog everybody gets to look and see what is happening to me .. But some of them are truly not my true feelings and thoughts… I am not going to let people know this new link... I want it to be personal….. All my secrets will be revealed here... all my true feelings will be poured here… friends!! Is not that I dun trust you guys or what it’s just that I do not know how to relay my problems to you and also don’t want to be your burden...
Firstly affairs of my heart!! I knew that I could not forget you just like my other ex-es... actually I am still having hopes of patching up with you... till now... and I am serious... I clearly know the consequences of patching up with you… I will end up being hurt again and also it will be real painful… I have been telling my friends that for me there are no patches in relationships... but deep in my heart I think that if I truly love someone I will go for it (**do I really LOVE u ,is love a too bigword to use?)…Binpei I really do not have any confidence in you anymore... I knew that you cannot give me those so called happiness but don’t know why I just want to be with you... care for you (this really make me look like a silly girl)... you make me realize how awful and disgusting this world have become... scary people surfacing …. I think I am foolish to want to believe in you again but I really can’t help it... I told myself not to shed any tears for you anymore but I gave myself graces after graces each and every time... I will always tell myself that this will be the last cry for you and will be putting everything behind... but this is like a never ending last cry… Even though I know that sometimes you lied to me but I just kept quiet as I am really afraid that by exposing you I might lose you as a friend... I have no idea why in this short relationship my feelings for you can develop so far... Friends tell me that is your sunny personality that makes me fall for you … I personally agree with this sentence… but after much thoughts I feel that it’s your words that make me fall for you ..My ex ex does not say so much those honey sweet words to me last time...haa... Maybe we are both too nerdy …on the whole I can conclude that you are just a brilliant sweet talker…cos I am someone that fall for sweet for nothing as this is my weakest point...you actually got it!!! This proves how expert you are in the relationship field… chai chin asked you if you still like me annot but the answer you gave is I don’t know... whats this?? What are you actually thinking...? I really want to know... if deep in your heart if you say that you don’t like me anymore than I think I will give up completely on you … but this takes time …As you know right I usually take quite a long time to forget someone……… but if that’s the case I think you should not give me false hope by saying and doing certain stuff that is more than a friend.. Cos everytime I talk to you you gave me a feeling that you are dragging my liking for you... You said things that waver my heart … Or maybe I am thinking too much ?? its this your true personality that causes you to do such things or you just plainly want to confuse me ?? or you yourself also confuse about your feelings that’s why you are still dragging.. If it is the last reason than I think you should sit down on the chair one day and think hard enough ,sort out your thoughts ,cos dragging on in not good..Labels: do you still like me ??
