♥Saturday, June 21, 2008,
Refresh-d.
2 days back yeemay told me that wen xi suddenly ask yeemay if I dun like her izzit .. I was like stuned why suddenly this question ?? hmm frankily speaking I do not have any prejudice against wenxi .. I am just plain scared of her .. esp when I am steading with denzel.. Cos at that time wenxi liked denzel and I am having rumor with her .. I do not don’t like her… serious and this is from my bottom of my heart .. I really liked you as a friend .. I enjoyed the time when we ponned school together, the times when we eat fish and co the times when we eat the chocolates fondue and all… they are great memories for me .. looking back at all the pictures .. I think its all conflicts or rather misunderstanding… I hope the root of this is not denzel I really hope its just some communication break down .. if it is denzel ii will be real disappointed with her already.. cos I am pressing her if she is lying annot but she insisted that she did not lie.. she had also confessed some of her lies but none is regarding this issue ..
But for now I do noe if I should believe in wenxi annot cos .. as what I said she can be scary sometimes so I am afraid that she will cause some harm to me …. But what harm can she give me….. unless she still like denzel ?but I think it is impossible .. Oh gosh who should I believe what should I do how?? God pls help …
To Binpei :
Although I know that you will not ever see this but I still wish to dedicate this to you .. Can you tell me what you are thinking pls pls pls!! don’t leave me hanging like this .. If I should let go tell me so .. don’t say words that carry a meaning to almost everyone….give me a clear cut answer .. if you like me just say you like me ,if you treat me as a friend pls say that you are doing all this for a friend pls do not give me false hopes !!! I know you are fickle minded but pls do this to other girls not me .. ke yi ma??
But for now I do noe if I should believe in wenxi annot cos .. as what I said she can be scary sometimes so I am afraid that she will cause some harm to me …. But what harm can she give me….. unless she still like denzel ?but I think it is impossible .. Oh gosh who should I believe what should I do how?? God pls help …
To Binpei :
Although I know that you will not ever see this but I still wish to dedicate this to you .. Can you tell me what you are thinking pls pls pls!! don’t leave me hanging like this .. If I should let go tell me so .. don’t say words that carry a meaning to almost everyone….give me a clear cut answer .. if you like me just say you like me ,if you treat me as a friend pls say that you are doing all this for a friend pls do not give me false hopes !!! I know you are fickle minded but pls do this to other girls not me .. ke yi ma??
But I think its impossible to get back to before already ………………. Although I still like you I think I should err no must stop my liking for you ..As what zhi wei say’s why give up the forest for a tree and I think that’s pretty true…. Healing hurts !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if there is a choice I will not be with you in the start … and I think I will not be that emotionally stressful now seriously..but what to do we have both step on the wrong path…. Wei jun do not even give me so much problems in the past.. Although both of you gave me a secure feeling when I am with you guys but its just different ..i am not comparing but I am just thinking back and yes you are right.. you said that when did you ever treat me well right and I got the answer and that is you have not treat me well before but I just don’t know why I just fall for you … I used to watch tv serials and inside there is one part where the girl sacrifices willing for the guy although the guy treats him badly I used to say that the girl is plain silly and right now I am doing this … XIUHUI YOU ARE PLAIN STUPID !!!! This person have give you so much agony but you are still so good to her whats wrong with you?? My answer “I just cant let go so easily seriously .. cant simpily cant I think I might even take more than four months to do so” but I wont tell you this already cos I want you to think that I have forgotten you !!
I am going to force myself to aaccept this fact that all that we have gone through is history already and I will definitely store a place in my heart for you.. and no one is to touch that place ..its simply the same space that I stored for weijun you both are just part of my growing up process… Although I say so much so much so so so much but can I really do it ??? that is still a question mark !!!!! wow I have actually typed out so much words I am stunned myself too.. two thousand odd words in my blog !! hahas ….I think I can have a good sleep earlie already .. as what jen have said you simply have too much things that you do not disclose to your friends already that why you keep shi1 mian2 this few months either cannot sleep or sleep too much …. Thanks for enlightening me !!! at least I have found the root of everything … feel so relieved after having all this things typed out !!phew weight load off my shoulder !!! XOXOXOXOXOX I want to be the happie xiuhui that I used to be !!!! whoohooo dreamland here I came !!!!!
I simpily love myself =))
Labels: what to do ?
